Im at strip club and am horny
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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