you guys were way drunker than both of me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
