I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
