i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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