just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize