I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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