No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
