So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
