i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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