If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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