I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
