she woke up with a sticky ear
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
