We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
