i just wanna soil my oats bro
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
