Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
