wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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