i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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