her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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