And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
