Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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