About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
