Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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