i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
