I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize