You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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