Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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