I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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