No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
