you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
