WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
