i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
