i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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