Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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