hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
