the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
