dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
