I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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