You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
