the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
