I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize