I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
