bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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