i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
