I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
