belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Pooping to opera.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
