Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
