so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
worst night to have a conscience
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize