He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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