I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
not ubering you a puppy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
