Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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