I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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