Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
