so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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