U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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