Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
