I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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