If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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