This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
