Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
