Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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