I hate all girls vehemently.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
