We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would ride that face into the sunset
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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