Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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